||[Jun. 15th, 2008|06:14 am]
FUCK I love my life so much.|
Last night after all my reticence I joined up with Jon, Hanne, and Mike at El Rio--Lea, Ousi, and Floria showed up after a couple hands of Asshole. It was. So. Much. Fun. I can't even explain. I have been so reluctant to go out with any of them since Ben and I broke up because I think if there's any side-choosing, they should choose him. But there was no weirdness, just beer and hilarity. Mike made another comment about me being SOOO AMAZINGLY SMART and it felt awesome. I flirt with EVERYONE now that I'm single and that adds this extra element of life being crazy and fun. I think I'm a lot less self-conscious when I'm single because I don't feel like a "representative" of boyfriend or relationship. I can just be ridiculous.
I have sort of a reputation for leaving suddenly after 1 drink but last night I made it through 3 before calling it quits. Started texting eb2 furiously and thought I was no longer being subtle after the 10th or whatever message, so I calmly announced that I was going to leave suddenly after my next Stella, and then I did. Called eb2 while I was walking home and he was sooooooooo dreeeeeeammmmmyyyyyyy again ALL NIGHT. Um, PS, if the conversation from the night before did not border on phonesex, that situation has since been remedied. Ooooooooooops! It's interesting to me that we both seem to have completely abandoned any mental/emotional barriers between us--seems sort of dangerous and stupid, but also completely romantic and passionate and fun. There's a high probability I will eat my words and feel really dumb for this later, but at this point, having shared all that we have with each other and spent so much time talking to each other, I just can't see any way we could fail to get along.
Also have lost a full 10 pounds and see no hint of my appetite recovering. Last night I tried really hard to have some flax chips and hummus before going out but only made it through a couple chips and gave up quickly on the hummus. I literally had to force myself to eat some more chips so I wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. This is really bizarre but whatever, I'll take it. My clothes from when I was skinny are starting to fit again and I look so hot. I think. ( For today's narcissism, see the new dress I bought yesterday!Collapse )